The things on my mind at 11:40 at night.

I have begun to grow and understand my purpose here on earth to a greater extent the past few days. I have also come to understand the power of the Godhead in my own life I am so Grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ a loving Heavenly Father and the still small voice of the spirit that lets me feel and know of Gods will. Lately I have been thinking a lot about 1 John 5:6-8 "6)This is he that came by water and blood, even Jesus Christ; not by water only, but by water and blood, and it is the spirit that beareth witness, becasue the spirit is TRUTH. 7)For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father the Word, and the Holy Ghost; and these three are one. 8)And there are three that bear witness in earth, the Spirit, and the water, and the blood; and these three agree in one."

I am currently pondering these verses and there connection with Moses 6:59 if you have any insights please let me know. Later I will expound upon these verses when I am not as tired and perhaps have some more time.
I also am still very interested in the idea of thermodynamics and better understanding its concepts along with quantim physics, and the theory of special relativity. If you have any insights please...please share.

TODAY IS...

Today is a Peach Tea Day and Chocolate Chips are better when it is snowing.

In Celebration of a GREY rain

There are certain days that just seem magical. After a long day of class I stepped out into a Grey Rain and immediately felt like retreating to my covers and hibernating until the sun came back up reading an unearthly amount of books and drinking something rich and creamy. But this is where the true celebration occurred, I had several errands that could not be postponed so I bundled up and pulled on my supremely ridiculous moccasins over my jeans and braved the cold grey New England rain. As I headed to the Berklee book store I was suddenly delighted with everyone’s rain gear. Bright yellows and greens, red and blue nothing shabby to say the least.
Unfortunately Berklee did not have what I was looking for, but this only the beginning of my adventure. Re-entering a sea of greens yellows and purples. Splashing through the puddles I found myself in front of Newbury streets famous Trident Book Sellers. It was here that I had one of those, “WOW, I live in Boston” moments. It was a moment that I was able to simply BE, simply exists. Delving into each one of my senses and letting my inner self find joy in the funny smelling mold infested books and rank smelling coffee. The rain had made me alive it was almost as though the Grey rain was some sort of magic fairy dust drizzled from above awaking my inner self. As I walked out of trident I felt full, I felt at peace. Hurrying home through a sea of Rainbow colored galoshes and umbrellas I happened upon one of my favorite gelato stores on Mass Ave. Bon Bon, I was cold and didn’t have the money for gelato. But I am convinced that because of the grey rain I made eye contact with the person working the small gelato shop. She smiled, I smiled, I waved and she waved back. Taking a chance and going into the shop I ended up meeting a new friend and got a free cup of Gelato! Grey rain is the best because it is the type of rain that brings people too life letting them exist among everything else that is taking place within the universe.

Only months after High School

"Now, this restoration shall come to all, both old and young both bond and free, both male and female, both the wicked and the righteouse; and even there shall not so much as a hair of their heads be lost; but every thing shall be restored to its perfect frame, as it is now, or in the body, and shall be brought and be arraigned before the bar of Chrsit the Son, and God the Father, and the Holy Spirit, which is one Eternal God, to be judged according to their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil." Alma 11:44

November 30,2005
Laura was not someone who would open up and talk. In fact Laura slept most of the day and when she did have something to say it was usually negative. Laura enjoyed riding horses and loved music. She loved animals and had a large heart but unfortunately for Laura she was unable to communicate what she truly felt. Laura had many handicaps that held her back and made it so she was unable to function in our society. She took special classes and was helped by many to overcome these handicaps.
Last year I was chosen to help get a new program started at my High school seminary. Instead of meeting with kids that were my age and level every other day I went to a special class were I was partnered with someone who needed help. Throughout the Semester I was asked to help Laura read simplified scriptures, and sing hymns. She was never willing to participate; I didn’t know what to do to help her feel apart. I went and talked to one of our advisers and asked what type of things Laura liked. I found that she loved dogs, because of this I arranged to bring my dog to visit her one day. She loved playing with my dog. After this I found that it was easier to communicate with her. She was such a wonderful individual and one that has impacted my life forever. Her spirit was so strong; she just was unable to express it in the ways that I was used to understanding. I suppose that really she was teaching me, the simplicity in her actions was beautiful and pure; there was nothing fake about her. As she let me see a little bit of her world I was able to see a little bit of how she saw things and what she was experiencing. It is wonderful to have the knowledge that we will be returned to a perfect state in the next life and strong spirits such as Laura’s will be able to shine.

In Retrospect (April 4th 2007)

A PLAY ON WORDS

Yellow trees shimmer at the edge of black rainbows and sweatshirts like it when girls wear them upside down or on the side. Jeans are comfortable but only when worn on Sundays, breakfasts with lemon bring sunshine until it congeals and hardens, only to be softened again by the man at the subway station without a coat, and once again by the couple down the hall in room 4a who have been fighting now for over 6 months. The Newsstand is full of useful information, but only for those who do not eat tomatoes on Tuesdays. Yes life is funny and seen in a lot of different ways, and I personally like cracking the sugar on the top of my creme Brule but then again it happens every so often that I barley remember what it is to taste sugar. I wish that I could do everything I know I am capable of.

What do you mean?...

One may say if your capable then what would stop such glorious things from happening. But I would like to interject that there is the issue of time. Time is a relative matter and a tree planted in 1810 is still standing, yet it has aged. My grandma was planted at the beginning of the 21st century and is now in her 70’s. Time is relative, and a great measurement that in reality may or may not even matter. If you look at a color long enough your cornea begins to swim and lose sight of the crazy monkeys that seem to constantly jump up and down back and forth playing double dutch for extended periods of time. Jimmy the record store owner talked about getting ride of all of the old records until there would be nothing. Nothing but silence. Some people simply can not listen to monkey’s anymore and play games and try to discover how to create the silence. Jimmy was smart when he asked Louis how to pickle ham and roast marshmallows because it was another way of dealing with the monkey’s. Yet Louis had no answer. He was silent, as so many of us are. So many people are looking for something besides monkeys and double Dutch, but getting out of the every day is sometimes difficult. I once saw a girl sitting on the street drinking a Coke and eating a small loaf of bread. The street was dirty and covered in a collage of various cigarette buds. Carelessly thrown away or put out by five toes. The silver dust seemed to hover over the street covering the surface of the girls bread. Stale yeast and mildewing aluminum cans lined the edges of the rail road tracks.


Its snowing, the white pieces of lint fall continually blanketing double lines and smashed cigarettes. Its April 4th and I'm sewed into a paper doll without feeling. Paper dolls always bothered me. They, smile. You can change their clothes, but they never change, they are always smiling and their hair stays the same I AM REAL my hair is knotted when I wake up and my clothes are sometimes wrinkled. I AM REAL. When I turn of the lights I am still standing, doing hopscotch. Do you count to ten? I tend to skip 4 and 7 and occasionally 9. When ever I wear my glasses I feel like I am dreaming. Think of what it would be like to be in the looking glass. Alice was lucky that Lewis Carol was cracked out when he put her in the looking glass because crack only lasts for so long. Finding what is REAL what is TRUE what is of GOD is the most important.

RED sweatshirt

The summer before I moved away to school I found myself full of an immense amount of ardent anticipation and it hurt. During all of the eager waiting my family traveled to a nearly 100 degree Utah and I wore a RED sweatshirt almost the entire trip. What was I thinking? I had packed enough shirts to last me the entirety of the vacation and had plenty of other fabulous shirts at home that I could have chosen to bring with me, however I stayed with the RED sweatshirt. It was comfortable, and one of those articles of clothig that you don't know exactly where you got it but seems to just magically appear one day as though it were always supposed to be a part of your story. In fact this sweatshirt had been so well loved that the average person may not even consider this particular sweatshirt to be red but rather a deep orange red

(is there a better word for orange red, if so I really need to find out.)

I have always referred to it as my E.T. sweatshirt just because of its frighteningly uncanny resemblance to Eliot's sweatshirts in the movie E.T. I was a little overly obsessed with this sweatshirt during this vacation to Utah but it struck me after I had come out to school and lived a semester in Boston I hadn't really taken off that sweatshirt, I was having a seemingly difficult time trying on some of my other options because I was so set on my RED sweatshirt. After the family vacation to Utah I put the sweatshirt back in a box and have only worn it a few times since. However when I came out to Boston I think I somehow I brought it with me in my culture, my upbringing, and my beliefs. When I first arrived in Boston I had a difficult time adjusting to new culture understanding t-shirts that talked about atheism, the legalization of marijuana, abortion, hummus, whole foods, big snow storms, and Boston accents. I found it easy to stay in my RED sweat shirt because it was safe, but it has been over the course of the past two years I have learned to branch out and try on many different t-shirts. I am grateful for all truth and accept and embrace it with open arms, I have learned that truth comes in multitudinous ways and I enjoy finding it in the most obscure places and in people that seem to be forgotten.

This blog is the beginning of my experience of discovering truth, my ability to improve upon my own thoughts adding patches and sewing up ripped pockets on my RED sweatshirt with new and different t-shirts. It is my opportunity to send anything and everything into the universe and let it just BE.



I am listening to John Denver and am playing with ideas of patience, thermodynamics, and non-profit organizations. I am full of a great deal love for life and feel the love of God in my life. It truly is a wonderful life!